Loralyn Mears, PhD
MOTIVATION MONDAY: CHANGE IS HARD
This article was first published on August 5, 2019 at https://gritdaily.com/motivation-monday-change-is-hard/

MOTIVATION MONDAY – LET’S GO!
Monday Motivation here we come! This is for those of you who slog through your Monday mornings. If you lament the end of the weekend and dread returning to the office, you may need our Motivation Monday quick tips. Grit Daily offers an avenue to connect with others like you.
Do you have ideas for a column? Or perhaps you know a motivational hero that you would like me to feature. Let me know! We’re here to help get your work week off to a good start. Pump your fists – it’s time for Motivation Monday!
CHANGE IS TOUGH FOR ALL OF US
Indeed, change is one of the biggest things that people fear and struggle to cope with. Even large corporations don’t manage change very well. Why? Attitude is largely the culprit. Translated into a word that we can all understand, the issue is resistance. Once we do something for long enough, whether it is a positive or a negative thing is a moot point, the issue is that it becomes a habit. And yes, habits are hard to break but not impossible. By rewiring the brain boost, perceived or real, that you get from doing whatever it is that you want to stop doing, you begin to realize that you don’t want to do it anymore.
I don’t know anyone – and I know tons of people – who have honestly said, believed or evolved through a change they sited as “easy.” That’s just not the norm. Sure, I’ve moved more times than I can count, from state-to-state and country-to-country, but that doesn’t make moving any easier. I still dread it, loathe it and suffer through it. That said, I do make it happen because I keep my eyes on the prize: what lays ahead, even if it is unknown, is better than what’s here now.

CHANGE IS INEVITABLE
As a science geek, naturally I applaud the efforts of Charles Darwin. I also uphold one of his most famous quotes as a banner to live by:
“It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change.” -Charles Darwin
TIPS TO MAKE CHANGE A BIT EASIER
We all know how tough it is to work through change. If you’ve ever had to lose weight, you get it. Shedding 10 lbs. can be challenging enough yet so many people have managed to lose 50-100 lbs. and to keep the weight off. Similarly to a weight loss program, there are tips to make dealing with a change a little bit easier.
#1 – break it down
Although I dislike the notion of hurting an elephant, let alone eating one, the old adage regarding the change, “you can eat an elephant if you do it one bite at a time” rings true here. Can you chunk out the changes that you’re experiencing, is there one bite that you can try to digest first?
#2 – tune out the noise
True, a few weeks ago in another column, I advised taking your headphones off to tune in, but now I’m advising the opposite. Here, the tip is to tune out the noise. Filter out all the garbage and sources of negativity whether that’s from news headlines, toxic co-workers, friends, family, whomever. Dial it down. Keep it out of your head. You’re on a mission to change and need every ounce of strength you can muster!
#3 – celebrate each victory
However small, if you managed to get through your day by crossing one thing off your list, celebrate it. You moved forward.
CHANGE HAPPENS
No doubt many of you have friends who are dealing with a host of different changes. Maybe you’re the one going through changes right now. Perhaps both statements are true as it is in my case and this fact may be the impetus behind what prompted me to begin writing this Motivation Monday column.
In my situation, I’ve been evolving from a corporate gal, full-on, head-first deeply focused on my career into someone I never imagined myself to be. Somewhere along the way, I transitioned to a stepmother, freelancing and providing marketing strategy plus content by launching my own business, Toasted Marshmellow. But I’m not done changing! I’m building something else, something new, something different, and morphing into the person I aspire to be in the role I seek to have.
Andy Dooley is a life coach. He has distilled how to manage change into one of the most succinct approaches out there. Simply stated, Andy proposes that you frame change around the concept, “The Unknown is my Friend.” Have a look at his video: it’s well worth the four minutes that it will take.
WHO MOTIVATES YOU ON MOTIVATION MONDAY?
Someone that I know is going through a lot of change right now. She’s a fighter but a wee bit broken down from all the recent battles. Although her change has been ongoing for more than a few years, everything has sort of come to a head for her right now. Job loss and the reality of having to move away to move forward has understandably hit her hard. All that fear, uncertainty and doubt that we manage to suppress each day comes back up, like a case of painful indigestion, whenever we have to work through change.
Moving is arguably stressful enough, but when you pile on finances, transitioning from the role of Mom and head of the household to an empty nest with the death of a husband and the flight of the only child, the weight becomes seemingly unbearable. Yet she is making it happen. Again. I am sharing her story because she always finds a way and inspires me, so I’m confident that her story will inspire you.
Motivation Monday isn’t about the superheroes out there that make all the headlines. Not so. It’s all about the everyday heroes who eek it out, day after day, and find a way to keep moving forward. Even if it means stepping back now and then, the steps taken are always a little more focused, a little more on the path, and definitely towards a better situation.
With that, I hope that everyone has a great week and let’s Motivation Monday carry you through the next few days.
“Adaptability is about the powerful difference between adapting to cope and adapting to win.” -Max McKeown
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