Loralyn Mears, PhD
Monday Motivation: Green With Envy
This article was originally published on June 8, 2020 at https://gritdaily.com/monday-motivation-envy/
Monday motivation, we need it, let’s go! We see you, struggling to get your day started and in need of a pick-me-up to launch your week on the right foot. Studies show that your morning mood affects your productivity all day. Grit Daily is here to get your work week off to a good start. Pump your fists – it’s time for Monday motivation! And guess what? We’ve revamped our popular Monday motivation podcast – stay tuned for that relaunch next week!
Are you envious of others?
Jealousy and envy are omnipresent. Even those of us that are conscious of negative behaviors tend to slip into this bad behavior once in a while. Everything from frustration and rage to depression can be associated with jealousy which is one of the most complex human emotions. Low self-esteem, neuroticism, insecurity and the resulting feelings of possessiveness over others plus the fear of abandonment are often at the root of both.
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” ~Lao Tzu
Jealousy typically involves a third-party who is competing for our affection or attention whereas envy is typically how we feel about another person who has something that we want or wish that we had. They’re similar and the differences are subtle, but both relate to the Monday motivation concept that we feel entitled to something that someone else has.
Monday motivation tips to curb feelings of envy
#1 – build confidence in yourself
Low self-esteem is at the core of so many behavioral challenges that we’ve previously featured on Monday motivation. We need to learn to love ourselves for who we are. We may not be Celebrity ABC or have their income, but status isn’t the only metric of success. There are so many others. It’s all about how we feel and why we compare ourselves to others. Each of us has value and has the ability to enhance our value. We need to think about who we are, what we want and what we’re going to change to bring ourselves closer to what we want. Once we believe in ourselves, we need to get focused on making changes.
#2 – get grounded in your own feelings
Looking inward at ourselves is one of the hardest things that we have to do. Allowing how we feel and analyzing, introspectively, why it is that we feel that way forces us to admit things to ourselves that may be uncomfortable realizations. Some may even feel demotivating. But, if we ground ourselves in who we are and why we feel the way that we do, then move beyond that to clearly articulate to ourselves (don’t just think it – ink it!) what we want out of life or out of that situation, we’ll come to realize that we don’t need to be jealous or envious. We’ll come to terms with the fact that such behavior doesn’t serve our bigger picture and higher purpose.
#3 – avoid trigger situations
It’s just too easy to do onto someone else’s Instagram and compare how many followers s/he/they have versus you or how many more likes someone else had on a post. We may not want to look at so-and-so’s posts because s/he went on vacation and we wish we could get away. Or we may get into spats around money because someone spent X on whatever and you’re thinking, “how do I pay my rent?” Each of us is different and in a different situation and we need to be conscious of what triggers us into feelings of jealousy or envy, then manage (i.e. limit) our interactions around those triggers.
We need to pause and remember that we don’t get to pluck out all the good bits of another person’s life and wish that we were experiencing them. Monday motivation reminds us that life is a package deal – you’d have to pluck out all the good bits AND the bad bits. Very few of us would trade our own problems for somebody else’s problems. Being jealous or envious of others is a one-way ticket to unhappiness. Don’t do it!
If you’re a podcast person, gain some inspiration and insights from our guests on my “Like a Boss” content: listen here on our Grit Daily podcast channel on Apple iTunes. Or return here each week for our Monday Motivation quick tips. Finally, if you like my writing, check out my new novel, The Battle for Humanity, it’s a thriller you won’t be able to put down. Have a fabulous week!
Photo by Polina Zimmerman from Pexels